Valentine Series: SEX: Whats the hype?

Sex on my tv, my radio, in the magazines and all over the damn internet

Whats the hype?
Two bodies engrossed in passion and desire, a temporary ecsatcy
Whats the hype?
Shyness, embarssments, heartbreaks and many more
Whats the hype?
A marriage breaks without it, a friendship ends because of it
Whats the hype?

Am I lost in a world of delusion when I think it comes 2nd place, 3rd or 4th
Is it a mere misconception when I see it as a tool that could be ignored and forgotten because the workman has other equally efficient tools

The men pay for it, the women suffer under it, the children get corrupted by it
So am I out of my mind when I ask
Whats the hype?

Passion, Desire, Love,
A bond, a language, a song
An act thats not a play, a scene written by love thats very real
Sex on my mind, sex in my heart, sex I desire
Maybe, just maybe it deserves the hype

Language Deficiency

If love had a different language I wonder what it would be. Would it be English cause most people understand it? Perhaps French or Hausa cause they sound so romantic. Maybe Italian, so that the passion could flow easily as it speaks. I'm also tempted to think Igbo or German cause well, sometimes it comes with so much force you wonder what hit you. Or even Chinese cause other times it gives you the giggles (that language funny sha. Lol).

I tend to ponder about love's language, cause its clear to me that it comes in two different tongues. His, and Hers. Its like no matter how passionate two people are about each other, how great they start off, how high on cloud 9 they get, there's always a point where they come crashing down and more often than not, they can't find a way back up. The man and woman both want love but express their desires in different ways thus, conflict ensues. She thinks his passion has waned, he feels he is being caged. She begins to fear love won't conquer all while he, is getting cosy in his new found love. She's sobbing her eyes out cause he did something stupid to hurt her, he walks away from the scene. She sees a man who is not remorseful, he sees a precious jewel whose pain he can't bear to watch cause he knows he caused it. It goes on and on.

I know some argue that it will take away some of the excitement, but if only we could all speak one language wouldn't love be so much easier? Ok, wishful thinking cause we've already been wired the way we are by our creator. Perhaps the alternative would be to take our time and teach each other our languages, but impatience erodes most of us. We expect the other to somehow get into our heads and read our minds. Ensuing result? Disaster! And so the bloody cycle continues (pun intended). Hearts are broken, dreams are shattered, courts are overflowing, tear ducts are emptied, curses are placed and 'Another sad love song' will constantly be on replay for generations to come. Maybe we should just chill out and try to understand each other.

The Love-o-meter

For many many years I have felt intellectually insecure. I mean for goodness sake, that dude that invented the light bulb, does he have two heads? Or that law of gravity guy? Or even those brothers that invented the airplane, wetin them chop, no be food? Anyway, all those years of feeling insecure finally came to an abrupt halt some days ago. Here’s how it happened.

I was indulging in an unhealthy dose of shallow TV, namely, The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It was an episode where some model chick was marrying some guy that looked kinda old. Because of what seemed like a significant age difference, the guy next to me automatically concluded that she must have been marrying him for the money. Shortly after, I came across a somewhat recent issue of Look magazine, and the cover story was about the fears of Jennifer Aniston’s friends.  Basically she’s dating this guy that makes a lot less dough and she’s paying for everything. His condo, flashy car, even for their holiday together. Naturally, her friends are afraid that the dude is just using her for her money and connections. So I got thinking. How do you know if someone truly loves you? When a rich man wants to settle down, how does he know his woman is marrying him for love and not for money? Or when a beautiful woman is approached, how does she know if a man truly cares about her or is just after her body? Or even in these days of fast money, if a girl comes from a background where her father is well known, well connected, how does she know whether the man is smitten by her or by his anticipated future income?

With all the human measuring equipment – lie detector, thermometer and what ever else that’s out there – these so called smart guys could not invent an off the shelf, easily accessible loveometer. Ha, Isaac Newton! And we thought you were really smart! Since the beginning of the world, songs have been written about it, wars fought over it, nations destroyed because of it (Troy?), and tears have been poured for loss of it (boy have I wept). You would think some clever sod would have thought of all this and come up with a wide range of love related inventions, least of all, the loveometer. Think about it, wouldn’t life be so much easier if you could measure how your beloved feels about you? Lets imagine a few scenarios:

• Guy toasts babe, babe doing too much shakara, he’s thinking of quitting but then he uses the loveometer and discovers – she’s actually crazy about him but only trying to protect her heart. He persists and they live happily ever after.
• Babe catches her bobo in a precarious situation with another babe, she throws a tantrum and ends the relationship. Wait a minute, she brings out her loveometer and realises he’s still madly in love! They go ahead and have a baby.
• Two guys fighting over one hot chick. One buys her a car, the other a house and the competition goes on. Eventually, they each bring out their personalised loveometers and discover, she doesn’t love either of them! Apparently, she had a third dude she was housing and feeding. Lol.
• Girl is seriously tripping for guy. She cooks for him, cleans for him, sleeps with him etc. He pays her bills, takes good care of her and all but… out comes the loveometer. Imagine, He’s got one babe that’s reserving herself for marriage and their wedding is in three months!

 Now, just think about your current situation, couldn't YOU do with a loveometer right now? I know I could! Well Wright brothers, choke on that!

The Three Sided Coin

We all know that one somebody or have heard about that one somebody who at a time was every guy’s play thing or everybody’s nightmare. You know, the babe that nearly all the guys in the class could boast about conquering or the guy that was so troublesome or worrisome that no one really wanted to be around him. Remember how you would point the finger or nod your head in deep disappointment or judgement. For many of us it took years of growing up and information to understand that that slot or jerk had deep issues they were dealing with that the outside world couldn’t know about or understand. We get to see after a while that there was a different side to the story which if we knew, we wouldn’t have been so quick to judge.

If life were as simple as a two sided/faced coin, then many issues could be dealt with easily. Unfortunately, I’ve never come across a coin with only two sides. You see, its very easy to notice and stress on the head or tail, while its just as easy to forget about the edge of a coin. Yes, it may seem useless and insignificant, but it’s a part of the coin none the less.

People are complex and people mess up. But before we jump to judgement, conclusion, a messy breakup etc etc, let’s bear in mind that there maybe another side of the story that we haven’t considered. Another side that may not necessarily excuse their mess up, but explain it enough to remind us of one in-escapable fact; we are all human. After all, where would we all be without 2^nd, 3^rd or even 4^th chances.

Women Liberation - My Right To Toast!

I’m a flirty kind of girl. When I see a guy I fancy, I pout my lips, bat my lashes and frantically wave my hands to get his attention. Ok, I’m exaggerating, but you get the drift.

For centuries the daughters of Eve have been trying to get women liberated from being house slaves to being a host of other things (who would have imagined a female astronaut?). Well, during one of my musing sessions, I suddenly got a bright moment of awakening. I realised that while these feminists/liberalists fought for the right to vote, drive and equal pay with men at the work place, none of them ever carried a placard demanding for the right to make the first move on a guy. Yes, why not. Why do we ladies have to sit around waiting for you guys to talk to us and ask us out on dates and to be your girlfriends/wives. Why I say? What about my right to toast?

So, with these thoughts somewhere in my sub conscious I stumbled across a piece of chocolate. I mean I saw him amidst a sea of men and I thought yum! He was all suited up (which I love) and rocking a sexy beard. I spent the next couple of hours watching him watching me. Before I knew, it was time to go and I found myself thinking ‘how far, is this guy going to make a move or not’. When I got tired of waiting, I said to myself, ‘wetin sef, I’m a fine girl jo, I can make the first move’. Feeling so 2012 rather than 2011, I scribbled my number on a piece of paper and made my move. Well, soon after, even before things kicked off…, I got bored! I quickly realised what I always knew. I like the dark ages! I’m a woman and I love the pursuit! Not that I’m one to play hard to get but I prefer the man to make the first move. Call me old fashioned but I’d rather remain restless and anxious hoping and praying that a guy noticed me noticing him than to make an outright move on him.

In conclusion, I’d like to say kudos to all you ladies who are fierce go getters and enjoy making a move on that hot guy that you just can’t let slip away. As for the rest of you (like me) who’d rather allow your blood pressures rise until he comes over to say hi (after all its part of the excitement isn’t it?) let me hear you say here here!