Valentine Series: Love Is In The Air

There are some wounds that run deep, like a tree planted by the river they remain firm. The roots have grown so long and gone so far that not even the most violent storms can uproot them.

There are some hurts that are painful. Its a constant turning of the knife in an open wound. Every direction you turn carries with it a different kind of pain. A daily reminder that you have a past you wish you could erase following you around like a heavy load that cannot be set down because you're yet to reach your destination.

There's nothing that cuts deeper than the pain another being can inflict on you. If care is not taken it can tear your whole world apart and forever ruin what could have been. 

It often feels like the pain, the hurt, the bitterness, the anger, the depression will never go away. Often it plants the seed of malice which germinates and grows to become a formidable force in one's heart.

Fortunately, I have read enough winter stories, watched enough winter movies and experienced enough winters to understand how spring creeps in. No matter how harsh the winter was, how cold and dry, depressing and dreary, the spring always creeps up. A funny season it is - spring. If you don't pay attention you would wake up one morning and ask: where did spring come from?

Sometimes the possibility of healing seems impossible. But if only one can slowly let the negative go and slowly let the positive in, one would suddenly wake up one morning and ask: where did all this beautiful lightness come from and where did all that ugly heaviness go?

Love is a guaranteed healer. It can come from a brother, aunty, father, neighbour, lover or friend. It certainly also comes from our maker. The offender may not give the required love for the required healing, but that's the beauty of it. Love can come from another source and still do the job!

Whether its from up above or from all around us, love is in the air. So lets open up our hearts and let it in. 

Happy Valentines day!

Language Deficiency

If love had a different language I wonder what it would be. Would it be English cause most people understand it? Perhaps French or Hausa cause they sound so romantic. Maybe Italian, so that the passion could flow easily as it speaks. I'm also tempted to think Igbo or German cause well, sometimes it comes with so much force you wonder what hit you. Or even Chinese cause other times it gives you the giggles (that language funny sha. Lol).

I tend to ponder about love's language, cause its clear to me that it comes in two different tongues. His, and Hers. Its like no matter how passionate two people are about each other, how great they start off, how high on cloud 9 they get, there's always a point where they come crashing down and more often than not, they can't find a way back up. The man and woman both want love but express their desires in different ways thus, conflict ensues. She thinks his passion has waned, he feels he is being caged. She begins to fear love won't conquer all while he, is getting cosy in his new found love. She's sobbing her eyes out cause he did something stupid to hurt her, he walks away from the scene. She sees a man who is not remorseful, he sees a precious jewel whose pain he can't bear to watch cause he knows he caused it. It goes on and on.

I know some argue that it will take away some of the excitement, but if only we could all speak one language wouldn't love be so much easier? Ok, wishful thinking cause we've already been wired the way we are by our creator. Perhaps the alternative would be to take our time and teach each other our languages, but impatience erodes most of us. We expect the other to somehow get into our heads and read our minds. Ensuing result? Disaster! And so the bloody cycle continues (pun intended). Hearts are broken, dreams are shattered, courts are overflowing, tear ducts are emptied, curses are placed and 'Another sad love song' will constantly be on replay for generations to come. Maybe we should just chill out and try to understand each other.

The Dash To The Altar

Forgive my long absence all ye faithful readers. I was caught up in the fun and excitement of three weddings and a fourth to go!

As usual, attending weddings sends me on a thinking spree especially since I'm a lady already at a very ripe age. Lol. So, I got to thinking about this whole 'settle down quickly' syndrome that tends to affect some people, parents especially. If you're a lady over 25 then you know what I'm talking about. If you're a man over 30, then at least you have an idea.

Before I go any further, let me quickly say that I adore the whole idea of marriage. I see marriage as a beautiful, romantic act that should be a source of great joy to both parties involved.

That said, why the heck would you want to rush into marriage?! With the increase in the number of people trying to rush out isn't it just better to take it easy? My biological clock, my mates are all getting married, I'm getting old & will never find a partner, my parents are on my neck etc etc. They all sound like good reasons to get married but unfortunately they often mar one's vision and make people reach for the fruit that isn't quite ripe but only appears to be so. Not that I'm saying that taking your time guarantees everything will go smoothly, but at least I believe it will give one the stamina needed to fight through tough times. Sha, maybe I'm just old fashioned in believing that one should fight for 'till death do us part'.

Please ehn, if by the way you just can't wait and must marry at this or whichever appointed time you've given yourself or God, abeg don't mind me o! I'll gladly come and chop rice and dance alanta at your reception. I'll also gladly come and chop spring rolls and drink champagne at the "I'm so glad I'm divorced" cocktail party. Lol!

Disclaimer: Some people marry because of aforesaid reasons and do stay married for a long time, though I don't know how happy they are. Some people court for three months before getting married and stay happily ever after - go figure. Some people marry for love and they are miserable - life can be funny etc etc. If you think I'm yarning dust feel free to conclude in your mind that I'm just a miserable spinster who wants the rest of the world to be miserable with me :)

The Love-o-meter

For many many years I have felt intellectually insecure. I mean for goodness sake, that dude that invented the light bulb, does he have two heads? Or that law of gravity guy? Or even those brothers that invented the airplane, wetin them chop, no be food? Anyway, all those years of feeling insecure finally came to an abrupt halt some days ago. Here’s how it happened.

I was indulging in an unhealthy dose of shallow TV, namely, The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It was an episode where some model chick was marrying some guy that looked kinda old. Because of what seemed like a significant age difference, the guy next to me automatically concluded that she must have been marrying him for the money. Shortly after, I came across a somewhat recent issue of Look magazine, and the cover story was about the fears of Jennifer Aniston’s friends.  Basically she’s dating this guy that makes a lot less dough and she’s paying for everything. His condo, flashy car, even for their holiday together. Naturally, her friends are afraid that the dude is just using her for her money and connections. So I got thinking. How do you know if someone truly loves you? When a rich man wants to settle down, how does he know his woman is marrying him for love and not for money? Or when a beautiful woman is approached, how does she know if a man truly cares about her or is just after her body? Or even in these days of fast money, if a girl comes from a background where her father is well known, well connected, how does she know whether the man is smitten by her or by his anticipated future income?

With all the human measuring equipment – lie detector, thermometer and what ever else that’s out there – these so called smart guys could not invent an off the shelf, easily accessible loveometer. Ha, Isaac Newton! And we thought you were really smart! Since the beginning of the world, songs have been written about it, wars fought over it, nations destroyed because of it (Troy?), and tears have been poured for loss of it (boy have I wept). You would think some clever sod would have thought of all this and come up with a wide range of love related inventions, least of all, the loveometer. Think about it, wouldn’t life be so much easier if you could measure how your beloved feels about you? Lets imagine a few scenarios:

• Guy toasts babe, babe doing too much shakara, he’s thinking of quitting but then he uses the loveometer and discovers – she’s actually crazy about him but only trying to protect her heart. He persists and they live happily ever after.
• Babe catches her bobo in a precarious situation with another babe, she throws a tantrum and ends the relationship. Wait a minute, she brings out her loveometer and realises he’s still madly in love! They go ahead and have a baby.
• Two guys fighting over one hot chick. One buys her a car, the other a house and the competition goes on. Eventually, they each bring out their personalised loveometers and discover, she doesn’t love either of them! Apparently, she had a third dude she was housing and feeding. Lol.
• Girl is seriously tripping for guy. She cooks for him, cleans for him, sleeps with him etc. He pays her bills, takes good care of her and all but… out comes the loveometer. Imagine, He’s got one babe that’s reserving herself for marriage and their wedding is in three months!

 Now, just think about your current situation, couldn't YOU do with a loveometer right now? I know I could! Well Wright brothers, choke on that!