MONDAY INSPIRATION: PHOTOCOPY KO EASY

Do you remember the last time you tried to do something exactly the way someone else did it? Do you remember the last time you tried doing so and failed woefully? Then perhaps you would have learnt by now that unless you are super talented in a field, trying to imitate another person ain't easy at all.

The memory I tried to get you to remember above is perhaps just one incident or maybe if you're hard at learning from your own mistakes, a few incidents. Now, imagine if you tried spending your whole life imitating someone else; how hard your life will be. If you're living that way now then you must have crashed and burned a few more times than other folks around you. Its tough enough being an original and trying to understand the manual of how the original works. Why would you want to be a photocopy of another complex original? That's trying extra extra hard!

You are an original with many beautiful and complex bits and pieces. Have you tried mastering YOU before trying to master another person? No one can do you like you can, so quit trying to be someone else right now and enjoying discovering and re-discovering yourself. Be it in your career, your marriage, your family, among your friends etc. Be you, you'll grow to love yourself! And if by any chance you don't, holla!

Omotola on Ndani

So I'm really starting to feel Toolz in her interviews on Ndani. She has a nice easy going style about her. I'm fast becoming a fan and look up The Juice every now and then to find something that captivates me. Here's one I just watched. I think its really cool, really laid back and fun. Its long but doesn't have a dull moment. And oh did I mention? I'm also a fan of Omotola :) 

Two hotties in the building. Sure say fire no come the place?

Mysterious Woman: Art Thou?

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Falling for a man can be so magical. You meet, you connect, you find yourself on cloud 9 and you just want  to tell him all about yourself. Whats more, the guy listens! He's so into you that he really wants to know everything about you. He pays so much attention that he can repeat everything you're saying word for word. Its allso romantic that you can't believe you've found your soul mate...Its a trap! Stop it right there and put on your inner light!

One of the lessons I've learnt about men is that they really don't want to know it all. Yep, even that man that  is staring into your eyes with so much passion & saying 'tell me all about yourself', doesn't want to hear it all. He's telling you lies and he himself may not even know that he is lying. Eziokwu! They may seem really eager to hear and know everything and push and push for more, but once a man knows it all or even thinks he       knows it all he starts to become bored. Men like mystery. They want to see you like the Ogre in Shrek. No not as an ugly woman, but like an onion with layers. A man wants to feel like he is constantly unwrapping you day by day. He wants to know that there'll be more to you tomorrow than there is today. If you give him     your life history & show him everything there is about you today then he just might run for fear that this          interesting lady will turn to a bore tomorrow. 

I know it may seem like I'm talking the impossible especially considering that you're hoping that there are      years ahead for both of you, so here are a few tips that might help:

1. If you’re just starting a new relationship, take your time in unwrapping yourself to your man. Have no fear that you’ll soon run out of new stuff cause if you really look at it, you’ve been on earth for a while so if you    take your time, he’ll have years to catch up on. This is one instance where age works on your side ;) 

2. You don’t have to put every step of your life on twitter, facebook, google plus, etc. Leave some info over to discuss with your man at the end of the day so that he doesn’t get all your gist elsewhere. 

3. Even if you think you've bared it all, there's still some little mystery left in you if you work it right. E.g, he   doesn't have to see you brush your teeth, shut the door. Yep, it can be so simple. Of course he knows you  brush (otherwise you wouldn’t have a man), but keeping that hidden can make him think: na wa o, why does she hide that from me? And then he becomes more curious about you. See how that works? Thinking of all  sort of little things to hide away can make a difference.

4. Come up with new things once in a while that are different from the norm. A strip tease, a picnic, a sleep  over for the kids so you have the house to yourselfs, his favourite meal when he least expects it...use your      imagination. This will make him see you as an interesting woman that has something new or different to offer every now and then. 

This isn't meant to be a quick fix for your problems or guarantee that he'll never leave. But its something to   help you add some spice and stay interesting. If in doubt ask a trusted man near you. Whatever you do don’t dull, bring out the mysterious you asap, its a whole world of fun you're missing out on if you aren't, because  trust me, playing mystery woman can be so much fun not just for the playee but also for the player ;)

*Image taken from www.dreamstime.com

The Secret to Fresh Looking Skin is Out

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For a long time I used to jealousy all those girls that look like mammy water. You know the girls I'm talking about. The ones wey their face fresh die as if no be the same sky we dey walk under. All that jealousy was before my eye start to tear small small. Now I know the secret. Na pancake! Don't be deceived, if you too read enough Vogues and Maire Claires you'll walk out of your house everyday looking like a she-god from outer space. Yes I know some of you will argue that some women are naturally born like that, well I can tell you that only very few are like that and for them I will continuously turn into a green monster.  However for the rest of the mammy water looking female population, I know your secret  - make up! But sha, I recently discovered another secret that black folks are not really into - SUNSCREEN. Yes I repeat, SUNSCREEN.  No, don't look at your rich mocha skin and declare me crazy. You have to admit that your face does not look fresh like the lady that stays at home all day and doesn't have to run a million errands cause there's' someone to do them for her. Though we may not be naturally prone to sun burn, over time, daily sun exposure begins to take its toll on our beautiful faces and one clear evidence of this is: Dullness. So, to protect your skin against dullness and what not, a good place to start is sunscreen {well, you can add drinking lots of water too}.

Thank God that make up technology has improved so much that you can get your daily dose of sunscreen easily. Here are different methods:

1. The traditional method i.e. sunscreen lotion/cream-The darker you are the lighter SPF levels you can use. However, try not to go below 15 and for my light skin sisters try not to go above 50. I hear those are the safe limits. Don't worry about oil on your skin cause of the extra product, a lot companies make the sunscreen come in a matte formula like the Clinique one in the pic. I think that's a good product and its also good for sensitive skins too. If you're acne prone you can try something from a brand like Neutrogena that specializes in acne issues. Try: Clinique City Block Sheer Oil-Free Daily Face Protector Broad Spectrum SPF 25 or Neutrogena Ultra Sheer dry-touch sunscreen in SPF 30 or 45.

2. Face primer-If you can't leave your house without your primer on, this is an opportunity to sun protect. A growing number of established beauty brands now make face primers with sunscreen. All you Mac cosmetics lovers will be glad to know that they have a primer that comes with SPF 50 called Prep + Prime face protect.

3.Your foundation-Many of our favourite beauty brands are now making foundation that come with some sun protection usually in SPF 15 but can go up to 30. Mac, Iman, Bobbi Brown, for example.

4. Face powder-If you don't clog your pores up with foundation everyday and are more of just a powder person, your choices here are quite limited. The powders with SPF are rare. You'll have to shop around a bit to find what you're looking for. You might be lucky to find your shade from Bobbi Brown's Skin foundation mineral makeup SPF 15 (try finding that in Nigeria!).

If you step out of your house each day, trust me you need sun protection. Between dashing in and out of your office, getting stuck in traffic and what not, you're bound to get at least 30mins worth of UV rays on your pretty face. So don't punish your skin. There's so much to choose from, go get some sun protection and keep looking fresh till you're 80!

*Image taken from: http://www.marcydolapooni.com/bio.html

See Chinese Fight Kung Fu!

Few days back, after enjoying my delicious meal of greasy chicken, sugar packed soda and calorie loaded salad - haba, I had to eat Lagos KFC now - I couldn't help but notice a group of women angrily wearing the t-shirts you see above. Couldn't help but stop and ask, them fight with Chinese people in Balogun ne? Apparently they were campaigning against what they said was the exploitation of Nigerian markets by the Chinese with seeming support from the Nigerian government. They were complaining about easy access by the Chinese to Nigeria and Nigerian markets while the Chinese do not extend the same courtesy to us. They also said that too many inferior Chinese goods are being sold in the country as superior goods. They also said the Chinese were coming in and selling their own goods at cheaper prices than Nigerians who go to their country to buy, thus indirectly removing money from the pockets of Nigerian traders. In essence they are demanding that the Chinese traders do their trading in China. I later discovered that they are the association of textile dealers or something like that.

Now I don't know the whole story and can't tell truth from fiction, but I can imagine the pain of foreigners coming to ruin my market if I were a trader. Things may not be as bad as they put it or things could be worse than they put it. Whatever the case, isn't it time that Nigeria started creating, manufacturing and selling to the whole world instead of us consuming what the rest of the world makes? After all, we have what it takes don't we?

Valentine Series: SEX: Whats the hype?

Sex on my tv, my radio, in the magazines and all over the damn internet

Whats the hype?
Two bodies engrossed in passion and desire, a temporary ecsatcy
Whats the hype?
Shyness, embarssments, heartbreaks and many more
Whats the hype?
A marriage breaks without it, a friendship ends because of it
Whats the hype?

Am I lost in a world of delusion when I think it comes 2nd place, 3rd or 4th
Is it a mere misconception when I see it as a tool that could be ignored and forgotten because the workman has other equally efficient tools

The men pay for it, the women suffer under it, the children get corrupted by it
So am I out of my mind when I ask
Whats the hype?

Passion, Desire, Love,
A bond, a language, a song
An act thats not a play, a scene written by love thats very real
Sex on my mind, sex in my heart, sex I desire
Maybe, just maybe it deserves the hype

Valentine Series: Love Is In The Air

There are some wounds that run deep, like a tree planted by the river they remain firm. The roots have grown so long and gone so far that not even the most violent storms can uproot them.

There are some hurts that are painful. Its a constant turning of the knife in an open wound. Every direction you turn carries with it a different kind of pain. A daily reminder that you have a past you wish you could erase following you around like a heavy load that cannot be set down because you're yet to reach your destination.

There's nothing that cuts deeper than the pain another being can inflict on you. If care is not taken it can tear your whole world apart and forever ruin what could have been. 

It often feels like the pain, the hurt, the bitterness, the anger, the depression will never go away. Often it plants the seed of malice which germinates and grows to become a formidable force in one's heart.

Fortunately, I have read enough winter stories, watched enough winter movies and experienced enough winters to understand how spring creeps in. No matter how harsh the winter was, how cold and dry, depressing and dreary, the spring always creeps up. A funny season it is - spring. If you don't pay attention you would wake up one morning and ask: where did spring come from?

Sometimes the possibility of healing seems impossible. But if only one can slowly let the negative go and slowly let the positive in, one would suddenly wake up one morning and ask: where did all this beautiful lightness come from and where did all that ugly heaviness go?

Love is a guaranteed healer. It can come from a brother, aunty, father, neighbour, lover or friend. It certainly also comes from our maker. The offender may not give the required love for the required healing, but that's the beauty of it. Love can come from another source and still do the job!

Whether its from up above or from all around us, love is in the air. So lets open up our hearts and let it in. 

Happy Valentines day!