Super Sonic Laser Beam Vision

There’s an amazing thing happening in our country and I just had to blog about it! I’m so surprised y’all haven’t picked up on it yet. I mean like its obvious and its everywhere! Clearly massive investments have been made in our police force and the army too and I am super excited! I just can’t believe how fast things are happening.

Only a few months ago we were all panicking about the security situation in the country. Now we can sleep at night knowing that our forces are taking care of everything. Yep, that’s right. Or haven’t you noticed? My gosh where have you been? Our police force is back in full force with some assistance from the military. All those road blocks you see on the road right now, you think say na play? They are out to catch all bombists and assistant bombists. Whats really fantastic about it, I mean the thing that impresses me the most is that these guys have gone for some special training I never heard of before. Its true! Like for real, they can stare at a car and immediately know whether there is a bomb in it or if the passengers themselves are bombers. Haven’t you observed? Next time you come across a check point, especially in Abuja, just watch how the police or army man stares at your car as you pass by. There’s a certain look he’ll have in his eyes that will tell you the laser is working. In fact they are so good that they don’t need any equipment to aid them (well except for their ancient guns that have nothing on the high tech guns robbers use these days. Lol).

With all this massive investment, hence improvement in our security situation, I don’t see why the senate is asking too many questions about the N900B allocation in the 2012 budget for security purposes. Clearly the cost of training our forces isn’t cheap! Maybe they are just trying to understand whether there’s room for them to chop from that money. Lol. N900B no be joke o, e fit change my family and hundred generations coming after me. Make them ask jo. How many zeros dey inside billion sef?

So the next you come across a traffic jam clearly caused by police blocks, don’t hiss in irritation. Just endure it cheerfully knowing that its errrm, for your own good. Never mind that these blocks and traffic jams haven’t actually led to the catching of any bomber, bomb maker or detection of some bomb making material (well, as far as we know). One day one day one bomber go show ‘im mess up inside go slow and kasala must burst.

PS: I know I’m fooling around, lol, but I think the govt should be allowed to spend as much as possible to upgrade security cause our forces need some serious upgrade! So if N900B is what is needed, then they should go ahead. Provided, that its actually used ON security, cause na there question mark fit dey. For those of you not in Nigeria, for real that's all the forces do. They create road blocks and stare at each car passing. You may get stopped and asked some questions that will annoy you. No bomb detectors or nothing like that. I really wonder how they will spot the actual criminals.

Language Deficiency

If love had a different language I wonder what it would be. Would it be English cause most people understand it? Perhaps French or Hausa cause they sound so romantic. Maybe Italian, so that the passion could flow easily as it speaks. I'm also tempted to think Igbo or German cause well, sometimes it comes with so much force you wonder what hit you. Or even Chinese cause other times it gives you the giggles (that language funny sha. Lol).

I tend to ponder about love's language, cause its clear to me that it comes in two different tongues. His, and Hers. Its like no matter how passionate two people are about each other, how great they start off, how high on cloud 9 they get, there's always a point where they come crashing down and more often than not, they can't find a way back up. The man and woman both want love but express their desires in different ways thus, conflict ensues. She thinks his passion has waned, he feels he is being caged. She begins to fear love won't conquer all while he, is getting cosy in his new found love. She's sobbing her eyes out cause he did something stupid to hurt her, he walks away from the scene. She sees a man who is not remorseful, he sees a precious jewel whose pain he can't bear to watch cause he knows he caused it. It goes on and on.

I know some argue that it will take away some of the excitement, but if only we could all speak one language wouldn't love be so much easier? Ok, wishful thinking cause we've already been wired the way we are by our creator. Perhaps the alternative would be to take our time and teach each other our languages, but impatience erodes most of us. We expect the other to somehow get into our heads and read our minds. Ensuing result? Disaster! And so the bloody cycle continues (pun intended). Hearts are broken, dreams are shattered, courts are overflowing, tear ducts are emptied, curses are placed and 'Another sad love song' will constantly be on replay for generations to come. Maybe we should just chill out and try to understand each other.

Air It Out.

Some things dey vex me. Infact, plenty things dey vex me. Why on earth can't you tell your heart to do something and it'll listen?! You go left it goes right, you say up it screams down. For goodness sake, foolish heart listen! And wasup with all this fuel subsidy business. Can they decide what they want to do so that Nigerians will know how to adjust their lives. Who gives a damn about their gay marriage bill? Or am I missing something? And why cant my heart just listen?! Tschewwww! I'm done venting jo, else I'll just continue till tomorrow. Next blog please! (This I'm saying to my over active mind that just has too many things its dealing with. Ha!)

PS: Please feel free to join me if you also wanna vent. Comment box all for u!